THE CAST in order of appearance
All character info relevant as of their first appearance; thus, later characters may be spoilers for earlier ones.
For the strips in order of most recent posts, see pulldown menu at right.
 

Yamara Tooke
Halfling ♀ - 27 yrs
Fighter/Locksmith
Self-Employed
 
  Born youngest of eight siblings to the Tookes of Eatburg, Yamara was expected to feed and clean the rest of the family, as one by one, they became immobile due to obesity.
  After a land shark picked off her succulent sister Arcalula, and was believed to still be in the area, Yamara hired neighbor kids to slop her folks, and set out on the road. The experience of being out on her own, learning a new trade, was the adventure she had long dreamed of.
  After prison, she moved in with three halflings who expected her to feed and clean them. Low-paying jobs with St. Nobian's Church doing routine monster-sweeps finally allowed her to rent her own place.
  She has studiously avoided ever developing a clever catchphrase.
 
First Appearance: May 1988
 
 

MAIN CHARACTER INDEX
Blag Fea Freznip Joe Holy Nêl Ogrek the Undisciplined Persephone	Ralph the Toad Stress Tim the Paladin Withers Yamara Yocchi

 
 
 
 
 

Joe Holy
Human ♂ - 38 yrs
Abbott of St. Nobian's
Seminary Teacher

  Joe Holy was born of sturdy peasant stock. His father Twagg owned a entire rake and a small garden, but one year he mistook his burlap-clad son for the bag of turnips he owed St. Nobian's Church as tithe.
  At St. Nobian's, Joe realized his dream of discovering the mysteries of the universe. He became learned in the most boring and unnecessary details of catechism and canon law, and so became indispensable as a seminary teacher.
  He cast his first spells entirely by accident. A travelling companion, during a sneezing fit, was able to defeat a rabid kobold and recover hit points, all because Joe had said "Gesundheit." St. Nobian had found him.
  He also has shown some skill at guarding reliquaries, despite his fear of dentists.
 
First Appearance: May 1988
 

Fëa of Ping Forest
Elf ♀ - 132 yrs
Independent Magician
Former Game Show Hostess
 
  Fëa was the popular rune-turner on the crystalvox game show Runes of Fortune. Her career was on the fast track to success until she portrayed a popular elven goddess in a soap commercial and was virtually blacklisted due to the negative viewer backlash. She then dove into a depressive fit of magic use, but once out of rehab, she decided to become a wizard and help others.
  Like a lot of young elves, she has an optimistic outlook on life, a trust fund she won't be able to tap for another 300 years, and not a care in the world. Naturally, fighting monsters in the dark has leapt to the top of her to-do list.
 
First Appearance: May 1988
 

Blag
Dwarf ♂ - 151 yrs
Fighter
Unemployed, Uninsured

  Blag was born into the uppercrust of dwarven society. For better or worse, he early found a path apart from his wealthy influential relatives, inspired by– or perhaps on the basis of– his being ugly and stupid.
  He discovered dungeon- delving at a young age, exploring down lost holes where his family would frequently fail to come looking for him, unless it was materially to their advantage. His most famous accomplishment is being able to recite the City/Town Encounters Matrix Harlot Subtable by heart.
  His self-taught proficencies are in battleaxe, drinking, and lechery, and Blag claims to have introduced all three to dwarf culture. Most people perceive him as a quaint relic.
 
First Appearance: May 1988
 

Dark Natasha
Human ♀ - 25 yrs
Evil Sorceress Stereotype
Under Contract to Demogorgon
 
  So you hope through your pathetic means to unravel my plan. But little do you know, that even as we speak, forces that I have set in motion already converge to seal your doom.
  You should have heeded my warnings when you had the chance. But now it is too late for you, or your impudent "friends", to save your world or, indeed, to even slow the arrival of my inevitable hour of triumph.
  You cannot stop me. No one can stop me.
  Now kneel. Kneel before me and beg for your weak miserable life.
  Available for bachelor parties; in/out. Crystalvox: 555-DEM-OGOR.
 
First Appearance: August 1988
 

Ultima Thule
Human ♀ - 23 yrs
Banker/Venture Capitalist
Maximum Mortal Stats

  This eidolon of humanity was born into an ordinary suburban family, the middle child of three. Throughout her childhood she excelled at sports, her studies, and was the most popular student in school.
  By the tme she was fourteen, she had graduated magna cum laude from Syllabus University, with seventeen degrees, including Masters in weapons systems, demihuman languages, and an MBA. Her gold-medal sweep as an Olympian athelete was reviewed favorably by visiting members of the Greek pantheon.
  In the last ten years, she has amassed a personal fortune of over two an a half million gold pieces, helped found two international banks, and is a key investor in the development of Tarrasque Interdimensional Spellport, among many other forward-looking land-management opportunities.
  However. She doesn't know what she's missing.
 
Only Appearance: September 1988
 

New Monster
Critter ? - hatchling
Wandering Monster
Loves Its Mommy
 
"Whatchamacallits do things, sometimes, but occasionally won't. They are about so high, and weigh about that much. They look like something or other, and brandish thingamajigs in battle. If a certain number of whatchamacallits are found up to something, they will be. Otherwise they probably won't or can't. They treasure whozewhatzits and thingamabobs, and are very similar to things that look like them, maybe."
               –Mark Rose & Chris Adams
                 Caverns & Chameleons, 1st Edition
                 1979
 
Only Appearance: November 1988
 

Ralph the Toad
Toad ♂ - 12 yrs
Mage's Familiar
Alias: "Poopsie"

  The familiar is the hardest career to maintain. Far more difficult than simply sitting on the proverbial lilypad, spawn camping mosquitos, it takes years of daily dedication and discipline to handle the magical assistant life. But Ralph had wanted to become nothing else, since the day he first learned to speak and scare the human kids.
  After years of eye excerises, Ralph passed the required physical that allowed him to be certified to share his hit points. From there he became a pledge to the Familiars' Guild (Local 317) and after months of canvassing and background checks, he finally earned his union card.
  Then came the long wait. Only one in five of all Guilded sapient creatures ever actually become familiars– for toads, the number is less than one-half of one percent. Days were spent posting his availability around town, and going to auditions.
  But at last the day came. The call went out, and Ralph found himself bound as familiar to the elven mage, Fëa of Ping Forest.
  He had completely wasted his time.
 
First Appearance: January 1989