THE HUNDRED CLASSIC EPISODES

 

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TIMELINE
A sampler of historical events in the world of WYHTL (Where Yamara Has To Live).
Additions to the entries listed in the book are in BOLDFACE.


Original Posted: 1997 Jan 19   Updated: 2005 November 19

Years B.Y. (Before Yocchi)

10191 - Reign of Imhotep over Ga of the Moist Spaces. He later becomes a mummy and rooms with Chester.

7655 - End of the Golden Age. Life becomes bitter and harsh for the residents of Wyhtl. Many people take to adventuring at this time, in the hope that they can secure a personal Golden Age for themselves, or at least a secure retirement.

7409 - Magic discovered by the dolphins of Wyhtl. Kept it a close secret from all other races for 5,000 years.

7345 - The tribes of Fufernuffer report visions of a glowing halfling wearing a white dress and a "mystical rope, resembling a string of paper clips." She teaches them the secret of picking pockets. Beginnings of civilization.

6506 - Humans of the Shunward Steppes realize that "they don't like elves very much." Credited with the discovery of racial preference, the foundation of certain aspects of culture.

5719 - Lichen Corners founded by Gerd, ancestress of Clerd, and a retired thespian.

5430 - The elven goddess Denise suggests that ticks would make better servants than elves, and is punished with an eternity of woe. Changes her name legally to Olthlay, and moves to Lichen Corners. Property values rise.

2392 - Biddle the dolphin, traitor to his kind, sells the secret of Magic to a sentient kelp named Grandtubulus. Beginning of the reign of the Kelp Mages of the Three Oceans.

2320 - Fimlilias born to Zaretelian and The Thin Girl, elves of the Shunnish Forest. A human Shun seer predicts her cup size, and her parents change her name to Bethdariel, secreting her away from men for years.

2216 - Magic stolen from the Kelp by the often misunderstood figure, Melvin the Bluefaced.

2189 - Bethdariel leaves Wyhtl for her class reunion. She marries Halek, WarChief of the transdimensional Clan of Six Teeth, and never looks back.

2178 - 56 - War of the Salines. Conflict spreads to land-based creatures; oceanfront properties become lands of darkness and terror.

2156 - Land-based creatures invent sushi and emerge victorious. Grundlich is among the winning generals.

2147 - The vampiress Fanga of the Revealing Blouse takes a shine to Grundlich.

2059 - The gnome Armitage discovers lint, and its many uses.

2056 - Cute Fuzzy Bears breed in the dark pits of the wizard Naralbe. He succumbs to their darlingness, and is made their thrall. Beginning of Cute Fuzzy Bear Empire.

1888 - Threk Har "the Fierce", daughter of Halek and Bethdariel, returns to Wythl amidst thunder and lightning, and claims the entire world as her birthright, having misunderstood a comment by her mother. As she has natural immunity to cuteness, few dare argue with her.

1884 - Cute Fuzzy Bear Empire collapses and is never repaired. Threk Har acknowledged as ruler of Wyhtl, at least to her face.

1312 - Fanga meets her end at the hands of the Glove Lords. Grundlich seeks revenge.

1280 - The first diet is attempted by the halfling Burb.

912 - Martyrdom of St Nobian at the hands of King Threlxian of Nard, who forced him to eat the rancid eggplant.

900 - Cleth falls to the Carpet Baggers of the Pink Hills. Entire city eaten within ten years.

501 - Familiars' Guild founded by Spanky the owl. Its original purpose was to see to it that familiars were not treated as "just one more lab animal."

499 - After two years of militant rallies and violent demonstrations, the Familiars' Guild's original members, the core group known as "Spanky's Talons," is arrested by the Erewhemos government and charged with "undermining the evolutionary chain." Spanky is succeeded as president by Gobulus the toad, who promises that in future the Guild will confine itself to legal activities.

440 - Grundlich opens his bed and breakfast,"The Heartfelt Wolf," on the Bay of Frowns.

421 - According to legend, the Scrolls of Plegh were given to the bugbear Henry, by a man in a bowler hat who refused to show his face. Henry's brother Frank immediately made Pleghism into a profit-based religion.

370 - Shun invades itself. Extreme embarrassment lasts generations.

306 - First public transmission of crystalvox. Magicians complain at first, but eventually buy into the system.

280 - Persephone, a young thief from South Blehsylvania, takes up the bet of the wealthy dwarf gambler Chunky that she could steal the pennies off a vampire's eyes.

210 - Ogrek marries Stress. She becomes insufferable company, so leaves with him on an extended honeymoon in Space.

181 - Pord the dwarf founds Crystalvox News in order to "use the tacky magic of the elves against them." Elves complain, but become addicted to gum jingles anyway.

c. 160 - The Great Malls of Ping Forest rise up. Elves are seen less and less by the outside world.

132 - Fea born to Nea and Yea of Ping Forest.

92 - Stress returns from Space, miffed, but mysteriously in complete charge of Ekmuz-Strel-Thridd.

57 - Withers learns the value of a buck.

39 - Stress becomes miffed in earnest. Commissions statue of Ogrek to use as a public catharsis tool.
        Joe Holy born to Twagg and Natalie Holy, third child of five. Family name derives from the state of their clothing and walls.

31 - Tim's childhood sweetheart willingly becomes undead. He begins to binge.

28 - Yamara Tooke born youngest of eight siblings to the Tookes of Eatburg.

24 - The game show Runes of Fortune  premieres on crystalvox, with Fea as rune-turner. She delights in her career path, as the show never seems to go away.

23 - Chester discovered in a basket outside the Venerable Brinxis' Hospital in Contrived. He is taken in by the kindly hospitalers, and promptly buried. He digs himself out, and swears a vow to dislike clerics in general, more than he has up to this point, whenever possible.

15 - After many customer complaints and inquires, the BQ™ fast-food chain admits that its signature letters don't stand for anything. They're just BQ™.

12 - Ralph born in The Pond, 296th of a school of 312. Earthquakes reported throughout Wyhtl.

10 - The dark elf priestess Elsa creates the D.E.L.V.E., including Yocchi.
        Joe Holy and Persephone held prisoner for weeks by the mad dentist, Dr. Scritch. They escape through a cavity in his dungeon, narrowly avoiding his insane canine-transplant experiments.

9 - The DELVE destroy themselves and parts of Ekmuz-Strel-Thridd, leaving Yocchi alive as a cruel gesture.

6 - Yamara goes to work for Joe at St. Nobian's in an entirely legal and above-board capacity, involving occasional stealth.

5 - Fea portrays a popular elven goddess in a soap commercial and is virtually blacklisted due to the negative viewer backlash. She has a depressive fit of magic use, but once out of rehab, decides to become a wizard and help others.

4 - Rella enrolls in nursing school, after turning down offers from her relatives to help her enter one of the family businesses. These included poison manufacture, silent weapons sales, and espionage.

1 - Ogrek marries Yamara. During the wedding she attains godhead, startling observers.
     Grundlich is tackled by Tim and other St. Nobian paladins, and removed from play. Persephone becomes a free vamp, and seeks out Joe, embarrassing him ceaselessly in front of same paladins.
     Rella begins an inadvertant murder spree after Blag chats her up with some fibs about his life of danger. They go into hiding. Tring and Trang become aware of them, and shadow their steps.

 

Years YUY (Years under Yocchi)

1 - Elsa killed by Persephone and her minion-child, in something approximating self-defense. Yocchi conquers world, puts Ogrek in retreat from Wyhtl, but goes into deep denial that Elsa is deceased. The Wrong Times To Be A Vampire begin.
     Rella finally falls in love with Blag after she discovers that assassination is actually a great deal of fun.

2 - Fea hosts the show Dean of the Flies, killing all contestants. Fea marries the Dwethelin brothers in a highly publicized ceremony, and petitions the dark elf world government to allow her to marry their most valuable objects. This sparks a public debate as to just how bat$#!% crazy Fea really is.

3 - Arcalula returns to Wythl for a family reunion, risking the shame of being revealed as a cyborg halfling. Rumors of an Antiogrek begin circulating.

9 - Yocchi re-elected for a third term as Top Person on Wyhtl, in a close race with an empty armchair.

15 - The dolphins are reminded of their ancient heritage, and get ornery.

17 - Suddenly, everyone forgets how cheese is made.

18 - Freznip stars in the blockbuster motion picture, Those Reckless Items, and breaks hundreds of hearts on thousands of worlds.

20 - Dolphins challenge Yocchi's authority to govern. They roll for it.


 

 

Excerpted from the Yamara book by Manui & Adams.
Yamara™ and all characters and likenesses are trademarks of Manui & Adams.
All contents Copyright ©1984-2006 Manui & Adams. All rights reserved.
Yamara.com contains material of satiric intent and criticism.