Blag knows which side of the axe he's on.

yamara   aetherco

YAMARA  comic :: book :: rfw
aether :: warchief :: alcott :: hob
omg! there's an axe in my head
the board game

One day in May of 1997, Holly Black sent us an email which began:
 
Guys,
this is important, ok?
h–

Little did we know HOW important the words that followed would become.

 

How to say

"Oh my god! There's an axe in my head,"
in various languages–
 
112 TRANSLATIONS NOW AVAILABLE
The Web's #1 Axe In My Head Page
Latest translations are presented in boldface.

Updated: 2011.08.20   Read history.   Contribute!  
 

Welcome MTV Geeks! We've kept this page in a kind of Internet Archive limbo for six years since it's last update, and in the meantime, there have been many changes in the world of placing wedged blades into human craniums.
 
Most notably, of course is our Kickstarter campaign for the board game, which is probably why you're here for the first time since you went to school. As I write, we are almost at 60% with over 3 weeks to go, but one of the special limited offers is running out--the $400 level offering a copy of every game that Game Company No. 3 will ever produce. Of course, any and all pledges are welcome, and will be received with our undying gratitude!
 
Check out the video, here or on the Kickstarter site, and remember: You can't have an orderly meeting of the League of Nations, unless you know how to cry out....  

English, Modern: Oh my god! There's an axe in my head.


 
10 Years of Axe In My Head Online
SOME HISTORY.

When we first received the email from Holly Black in 1997, we were only able to trace the forwards back to one Elizabeth Lipp– then in February of 2001, Nancy Cerelli emailed to tell us of a young prophet posting on Usenet:

It's been so long since the whole thing that I've forgotten his last name. He was a physics student at the University of Waterloo in Ontario Canada. His first name is Yohan. Really brilliant, quirky guy! I remember him posting it to Alt.Gothic back somewhere around 1993. I was also studying physics but at the nearby University of Guelph. There were only about 18 or 20 translations on his original list.

And now at last it comes. Hear now the words of YOHAUN, aka Johann Junginger:

Just discovered your site today. I must say its one of the better "Axe in my head" sites I've ever come across.

As Nancy Cerelli has pointed out, I'm responsible for starting this "Axe in my head" list (although it clearly has a life of its own now). I originally posted it to alt.gothic[...] 1993 sounds about right[...]

The original phrase is from the Iron Warrior, the Engineering student newspaper [University of Waterloo]. I believe this would have been in Fall 1993. One edition featured lots of photos of faculty and administration members with crudely drawn axes in their heads. The caption "oh my god, there's an axe in my head" would appear near these photos. This edition of the Iron Warrior may have been the one featuring the Chainsaw Ralph and Skillsaw Sue cartoons but I could be wrong[...]

One day my friend Kevin McLellan and I were in the Student Centre pretending to study, when Kevin turned towards me with a maniacal gleam in his eyes and asked "how do you say 'oh my god there's an axe in my head' in French?". The germ had been planted...

I forgot about this for awhile until I discovered Usenet (and alt.gothic - a wonderful place to procrastinate from one's studies). It occurred to me that the internet was a wonderful place to poll people for useless information - so I posted the original list, containing English, French and my clumsy attempt at Latin. I was flooded with replies and began to have great fun maintaining this. I believe I still have a postcard containing a translation in Egyptian hieroglyphs; if you ask nicely I'll try to find it and scan it for you :). I only ever posted the list to alt.gothic, but I guess other people began to disseminate it. I'm stunned every time I do a search for the phrase "axe in my head" on a web search engine. I am really amazed at the momentum this thing has gathered...

Keep up the good work - you are doing a better job of maintaining this than I ever could have done...

Sincerely,

Johann (Yohaun) Junginger [2001 Nov 25]

Words cannot express our pride and thanks for being recognized as a leading source of axe-to-head communication by the man who started it all. Yohaun has since been kind enough to provide the postcard mentioned above– see it and links to Google's archive of his Usenet posts below.

While the background chronicle of "Oh my God! there's an axe in my head," now stands in a kind of completion, there is still much to be done.
Click here to find out how to contribute to this page, and make your mark on history!

An early hint of Yohaun's axes on Usenet: 1994 Jul 20
An early posting of Yohaun's list on Usenet [12 entries]: 1994 Jul 24
First findable correction by a third party [Latin]: 1994 Sep 05

 
TAKE PART!

We're proud of having the most translations of this phrase online!
If you know how to cry out "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head," in any other language, please contact us at:
aethertales@gmail.com. OUR MOST SINCERE THANKS TO ALL OUR CONTRIBUTORS.
 
Our forums were blocked some months ago due to hyperspam, but we have saved the database, and with our 2011 Wordpress upgrade, we hope to restore all the extra translations you've provided over the years. In the meantime, feel free to pepper our comments sections with more ligustic marvels!

We're still tracking down the translations "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head," in Sindarin, Khazad, and any and all other real world and developed fantastic languages. Please consider postponing any time or dimensional travel to the eras and places where these languages are prevalent until we at Aetherco can provide this potenially life-saving information. Our lawyers recommend us to warn the following, however: "Aetherco makes no claim for the accuracy of any submitted translations. Use these translations at your own risk. Aetherco assumes all editorial discretion over submissions" –but we won't use your email or web address unless you say; and submitters can always request anonymity.

Another important use for this list surfaced in Adept Games' HAND AXE the Roleplaying Game. Kudos to Adept for perceiving the danger, wonder, and importance of the often-overlooked RPG breadth of the handaxe.
[Updated 2011 Aug 20]
 


NOTES.

A1 Thanks to J.Z. for this Adriatic exclamation. [2004 Apr 23]

A2 Another vital African language joins the list courtesy Eskinder:
Amharic is the National language of Ethiopia. And the population of Ethiopia is more than 60 million. Amharic has its own Alphabets. Attached is a GIF file showing the inscription in Amharic letters. In the above sentence some of the English alphabets need to be pronounced differently, but even if you read it as it is, it will approximate the Amharic sound of the sentence.
cheers!
eskindir [2004 Apr 09]

A3 The official Ape language of Tarzan's friends, as devised by Edgar Rice Burroughs. Note that this literally retranslates as "Scream! Spear in this head." But it is not certain if there is a word for "god" or "axe" in Ape.

A4 Found at ckelch.promptu.com which also has accredation for many of these translations. [2000 May 10]

A5 This is a contribution in the Aragonese language, spoken in northern Aragon (Spain). It's a minor Romance language, different from the Aragonese dialect of Spanish spoken in the south...
My most sincere congratulations for the great page (and idea)! Lizer Tena [2001 Nov 25]
 
Thanks, Lizer, though the
idea certainly predates our efforts.

A6 Melanie Writes:
According to my husband, Dr Andrew Canessa, Director of the Centre for Latin American Studies at the University of Essex (http://www.essex.ac.uk/centres/lastud/) , to say "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head" in Aymara, the Native American Indian language spoken in highland Bolivia and southern Peru, you would say
 
Iyaw! M hachax p'iqijankiwa.
 
Loved the site. [2004 Jun 16]

B1 Bahasa Melayu is the official language of Malaysia. Its similiar to Indonesian, but different enough to warrant a seperate translation I think.
Thanks go to Fayruliza Azmi for this important contribution.
Keep up the great, and very important, work.
- Jason Z.
- nFusion Interactive [2004 Jun 16]
 
Two other translations in Malay arrived at about the same time:
 
in MALAY language, would be...
"Ya Tuhan! Ada parang di dalam kepala saya."
Rai Fana [2004 Jun 16]
 
Malaysian Translation
Ya tuhanku! ada kapak dikepalaku!
Vapidfire [2004 Jun 18]

B2 Leo J. Moser's invented language. [1997]

B3 Courtesy Jeff Henning, who elaborates further on his translation:

Re-lex: "I surprisingly presently linguistically-express 'my god'. A bladed+augmentative+bar opposite+outside me+pronominal-article head presently is-position."

Re-translation: "I say, 'My god' in surprise. An axe is inside my head."

Baselang does not currently have any way to express exclamations, which explains the rather tepid translation. The problem is how do I come up with a core translation of "Oh my god!" that can then by equivalently translated in Japanese and Spanish? (The goal of the language is to provide for automatic translation TO (not from) English, Japanese and Spanish.) Spanish is fairly similar, but I don't know about Japanese. The phrase _wonden divin_ would be "my god", but it is a literal expression.

The word _wonden_ is treated as an article (all possessive pronouns are considered pronominal articles -- I've expanded the article system of Baselang again, now up to 13 types of articles -- 26 in total).

New words created for this exercise: chafergarbar (chafer [< Arabic "blade"] and garbar ["long bar" > stick] are also new) and nem [invented, a fusion of E. _now_ and Baselang _tem_, "time", because I can't find a good natlang CVC root for "present, now" -- help!!!].

Total time spent translating: 45 minutes. Obviously, I'm a long way from fluency!

Regards,

Jeffrey [1997]

B4 Nothing has kept Goio Borje from creating a separate Basque listing. Eskerrik asko, Goio:
"I have seen your website and noticed you still do not have your sentence in Basque. Basque is a minor language spoken in the Basque Country, an area in North of Spain and South of France." [2001 Sep 24]

B5 Submitted by Zenon Ratschkewycz [2001 Feb 15]

B6 A missive from Antone Minard [2001 May 04]:
 
Hi there! A new one for you below, and some friendly editing on what you've got.
 
I should tell you that the language you have as "Celtic" is really Irish (also known as Irish Gaelic; your Gaelic is quite properly Scottish Gaelic). It's not even very good Irish. Celtic is like Slavic or Romance, a language family, not a language.
 
The Welsh should be corrected to "Dduw!..." or "A Dduw!" "A 'Nuw" is more like "Oh God-whom-I-possess," which doesn't work as well..
 
So this email isn't toally pointless, here's another Celtic language -- Breton.
 
Ma Doue! Ur vouc'hal a zo e va fenn! (emphasizing the axe)
Ma Doue! E va fenn eo ur vouc'hal! (emphasizing that it's in my head)
Ma Doue! Bez' ez eus ur vouc'hal e va fenn. (No special emphasis; both axe and head injury given equal weight.)
 
--Antone
 
Thanks, Antone. We should point out that philologists don't group languages under a catchword, but name language families after an older parent language, usually long dead. (Even the colloquial "Romance" means Roman, i.e. Latin.) And here at
yamara.com, dead doesn't matter. The ancient Celts must have spoken this important phrase all the time, and we need to know how.
 
We aren't surprised that the "Celtic" listed here resembles the Irish, and may not reflect the inflections or phonemes used at the time, since this listing was picked up from another site (see note C3). Any professional light on this matter is of the utmost necessity.

B7 Brought to our attention by Terry Rossiter [2001 Mar 05]

C1 Courtesy the staff of cathayonline.com

C2 From one "Carlin Miracle" [2001 Feb 15]: That is the translation in Catalan (or Catalonian if you prefer) Can you help me? How to get translations in "strange" languages? The regular dictionaries don't help much. Any ideas? Thanks, Carli
 
Also submitted by Trobairitz [2001 Mar 05] who says– fun :)
This isn't just a game, Trobairitz! But thank you for contributing.

C3 As originally posted at www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/7069/humor/axehead.html. We should warn that the regional slights, and especially the "Ebonics translation" are spurious.; Aetherco welcomes anyone who wishes to submit proper translations in accredited dialects of Black Speech. [2000 May 10]
 
Phil Lawrence adds: "The Estonian translation [orig Oh issand, mul on kirves peas] is OK at the rear end but the first part, "Oh issand," translates as "Oh Lord." A better interpretation for "Oh my God," would be, "Oh mu Jumal", or even "Oh minu Jumal," although the second version is rather formal.
Good luck [2001 Nov 08]
 
Further Estonian emendation comes from Sven Vahar: "Phil Lawrence is correct as far as translating it literally but estonians wouldn't use it that way. We'd say
'Mu Jumal, mul on kirves peas!'
Construction 'Oh mu Jumal...' is unnatural, although perfectly legal. It's just that we wouldn't say it. We're not really using those 'oh'-s as generously as they're used in english. [2004 Jun 12]

C4 James Martin [2001 Jul 18] explains his addition to the canon:
 
Aah n'kiseemantoom, Ciikahikan asteew nistikwaanihk.
Oh my God,                an axe      is in      my head
 
Cree belongs to the Algonkian Language family in Canada. There are five dialects ,L,Th,R,Y. The above phrase is said in the 'N' dialect.
The double vowels represent long vowel sounds based on the international phonetic alphbet. For example, aa like in bat, ee like in bet, ii as in beet and oo as in boot. These are identified with a macron (a line) above the vowel.
Consonant are articulated as those in english. The c is like the ts in tsetse and the w is like an oo sound if its in the final position.
Good Luck with other languages.
 
Thanks. And Good Luck to you, James Martin.

D1 As posted on our original list: Oh min gud! Der er en oekse i mit hoved.
 
Saw the "axe in head" translator on Metafilter; can't tell if you're still maintaining the page, but on the off-chance that this email address is still valid... the un-idiomaticness of the Danish translation is apparent even to this non-native speaker-of-exactly-enough-to-ask-for-beer.
My native source tells me that "Åh gud, der sidder en økse i hovedet på mig" would be the most idiomatic expression; she also gives "Åh, gud, jeg har en kse i hovedet" as an acceptable alternative. (see
http://web.archive.org/web/20050206230419/http://greengabbro.net/archives/000796.php for the discussion)
cheers,
yami [2004 Jun 15]
 
Your Danish version is not very good. "Oh" is an English word, in Danish it is "åh". And "økse" is always so spelled, never "oekse".
But also, the sentence is just a word by word translation of the English. It does not sound natural at all. Better:
"Åh Gud, jeg har en økse i hovedet."
Literally: Oh God, I have an axe in the head.
Klaus O K [2004 Jun 17]

E1 Egyptian and Russian character transcriptions by John McClusky, via the man himself, Johann Jungberger.

E2 Courtesy John Fisher [1997]

E3 Hi There,
I hadn't seen this before:
 
k:-)
 
An emoticon for "oh my god, there's an axe in my head"
FWIW,
++Mark Dalrymple [2001 Nov 19]
 
We had to make one small change to get the "Oh my God!" element across, but there's no doubt that Mark's twist on
Scott Fahlman's ARPANET invention is absolutely brilliant. This is one of our favorite entries, ever. Bravo.
 
Further research has turned up an earlier version by
Jay Bowks [1997 Mar 08] from an old Yahoo Groups posting cached by Google:
emoticon for the idea of Oh my god I've an axe in my beany!
 
p:-(

E4 From Lea Luecking Frost [2001 Jan 17]:
If you're still updating the Axe In My Head site, I think I've got a passable Old English translation: "Wa min God! Se aex on min heafod is!" (The [ae] in "aex" should be the letter ash, aka a and e smashed together, but it won't show up properly in my email.) Great site, by the way! :-)
 
Further elaboration by
Anna Truwe |atruwe [14 Feb 2001]– Old English: Eala, min Hlaforde! An æx by on minne heafod! That's literally "Alas, my Lord! An axe is in my head!" "Oh my God!" in Old English is way too similar to Modern English: "O, min God!" Just in case you folks were interested in the aesthetic decisions of translation. Wow. And my folks thought I'd never find a use for Old English. If you credit this to me, could you link my name to http://thingsihate.org?
Thanks.

F1 From worldly-wise Flóvin S. Olsen:
"In Faroese, it's
Á Gud! Eg havi eina øks í høvdinum! (oh god, I have an axe in my head)
Á Gud! Ta er ein øks í høvdinum hjá mær! (oh god, there is an axe in my head)
And, Faroese is the language spoken on the Faroesk, small group of islands in the north atlantic. Around 45000 inhabitants."

F2 Kudos to jari [2004 Apr 22], Aleksi S. and paavo.h [both 2004 Jun 16] and the many others who have insisted upon the alpha-umlauts.

F3 A fellow named Lies submitted this one [2004 Apr 23], but we wonder if "Godverdoeme" really means "Oh my god" to the Flemish, or if it's just Lies.

F4 Thanks to Chris Protopapas of New York. [2004 Jun 19]

F5 Submitted by the otherwise thankless Brecht. [2004 Jun 23]

F6 Carl L. says he's one of the stranger Belgians:
I live in Belgium (Flemish part), we have a weird dialect taken from dutch overhere, at first I thought that wouldnt count but as I saw there was one of the french part ill give you ours... [2004 Jun 24]

F7 Special thanks to Meg Bateman aka Nynaeve al'Meara for pointing out we were missing a circumflex. [2001 Jun 25]
"I've just been bragging to all my friends that you mentioned me on Axe In My Head" [2001 Jul 17]
 
There is a slight mistake in your French translation of "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head.". French typography requires a space (an unbreakable space: ALT 0160) before the exclamation mark.
I also wonder why the first word Oh was not translated...
By the way, I noticed that many translations have a final exclamation mark, that does not appear in the original English text.
I hope that I'm helping you in saving lives. [No, that isn't usually possible in these circumstances, Alain, but your sentiment is generous in these times. -Ed.]
Regards,
Alain Sergent, Toulon, France.
PS: you may use my name and make it famous, but please do not disclose my e-mail. [2004 Jun 11]

G1 Also, I noticed the german translation - [orig Oh mein Gott! Ich habe eine Axt im Kopf!]- it works out to Oh my God! I have an axe in head!
I suggest that for consistency, it might be better like

O mein Gott! Es gibt ein axt im meine kopf!
or for urgency:
Mensch! Gibt's ein Axt im meine kopf!
Feel free to use or ignore what you want...
Regards
John Cheseldine
 
Danke. When John isn't ensuring that German make sense, he's elaborating on how symbiotes might discuss battle adversely affecting their hosts (see the note on Goa'uld below.)

G2 Christian A. Klepej has but scratched the surface of the deeper complexities of Germanic translation, and the Styrian deity is being addressed directly by his first name... and yet, we are very grateful for these entries:

1) german (styrian-dialect):
»Jessas, i hab a hockn im schaedel.«
 
2) german (carinthian-dialect):
»Um Goddes wuell, do is a hackale im meim schaedahle.«
 
::: Christian A. Klepej
::: Graz, Humboldtstrasse 9/II      [2001 Aug 22]

G3 Further details from "oliver":
"i've got another translation of that very important phrase. its a german dialect that we are speaking here in austria (to be more precise upper austria)
a few friends and i were discussing what translation would be the best and we came up with this one (it even rhymes)"

G4 Claus Lamm, University of Vienna has another translation to jam into our skulls:
"Well, here is how you would say it in Vorarlbergerisch, which is a dialect spoken in the westernmost part of Austria:
 
Hargoläss, do ischt an agscht i minoem griand!
 
cheers,
claus
Claus Lamm
Brain Research Lab
Dept. of Psychology
University of Vienna [2001 Aug 23]

Shortly before the above arrived, an enigmatic "flo" sent in a different take in Vorarlbergerisch... but it doesn't look to us like God is being called on to help with the unfortunately-placed instrument:
"it is a little german mixed up with swiss slang....it´s rather strange. so here´s the translation...
 
Scheissdreck, I hon a Akscht i da Bira!
 
Btw, I´m from the western Part of Austria, also known as Vorarlberg.
thanx´n´greetz
flo"

G5 John Cheseldine ringed in this likely enough candidate:
 
Noticed you had a Klingon translation on your site, so I thought you might appreciate this; It's very rough translation into the Goa'Uld language used by the bad-guys (and slaves) in the Stargate movie and SG-1 series... This is loosely based on dialogue taken from the film, and the concept of the language on Abydos being a corruption of ancient Egyptian...it's not 100% accurate but it's extremely close! [2001 Oct 26]
 
Individual jaffa may insert their own bosses at the beginning of the statement. Apophis and his ilk would likely use the preface, "Ah me!" and not be terribly concerned about the results.

G6 Notes on Greek from Miriam Kotsonis [2001 Feb 16]:
'Since I don't want anyone to be lax, when dealing with an axe,
here are some suggestions regarding the Greek translations.
The modern Greek you showed had two problems:
"Greek, Modern: hristo mou! eho ena maheri sto kefali mou!" The word for God, or in this case Christ, needs to be in the vocative case, Hriste. Also, the word for axe is "tsekouri" and not maheri, which means knife.
So the correct version would be: Hriste mou! Eho ena tsekouri sto kefali mou!
For Ancient Greek, I don't know all of it (maybe some of the people I've blind-copied this to will be able to help), but you definitely want Thee (pronounced Thayay) mou, not O Theos mou.
With best wishes for your continued success in the list,
Miriam Kotsonis'

This additional note, from Paul Exarhos [6 Mar 2001]:
'Hi Guys!
I received an email with many different translations for "Oh My God there is an exe in my head!" [sic -ed]
I am just writing to you to let you know that the Modern Greek Translation is not correct. What you have written there translates to...." My Jesus there is a knife in my head."
It should read, " The'Mou, eho ena tsakouri sto kefali mou"
I hope this is of some help to you!
Regards
Paul Exarhos'

G7 Our thanks go out to Virginia M. Geraty, Gullah scholar and advocate, who sent this translation in. "Contrary to the belief still held by some, Gullah is not poor, or broken English. It is not a dialect of any other language, neither is it Black English. Gullah possesses every element necessary for it to qualify as a language in its own right. It has its own grammar, phonological systems, idiomatic expressions, and an extensive vocabulary. Since this language was never intended to be written, there are no hard and fast rules governing its orthography." [2001 Apr 29]

H1 Our submission in Hausa is from a Wedge Martin, who insists he's double-checked it, so we'll trust him. Any guesses what happens to you when you get something wrong on this page?:
 
[2001 May 11] Great work! I love the axe-in-my-head page :)
 
Ok.. Here's another one.. You may need to do some research, but it's a fairly common language. Primarily in western Africa it's used as a common language between many tribes. The BBC even airs in Nigeria in this language. It's called 'Hausa'. I can't believe I remember this stuff. Enjoy :)
 
Kai! Ina da bambaro ciken kaina!
 
It actually translates to 'Kai! (an expression of shock) I have an axe (something like an axe) in my head.'
The first 'Kai' is actually an expression, the second 'kaina' is actually 'kai' (head) and the suffix 'na' is 'my'. 'ciken' is pronounced almost exactly like english 'chicken'.

H2 Originally posted as "Eloi! Yesh'li ca-sheel ba-rosh sheh-li!", we've had some input as to correcting the phrase:
From
Barry Barancik [2001 Feb 13]: "Hi. Although the hebrew translation is basically correct, the common modern Hebrew word for a hand-axe is garzen, not ca-sheel. regards, Barry"
And this from OFER-ZI ( ݉) [2001 Mar 06]: 'while readind the "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head" page, I noticed a mistake in the Hebrew translation.
Being an Isreali and as such, a native Hebrew speaker, id like to correct it to: "Allelay, yesh li garzen ba-rosh" (alternative translation would be: "Allelay, yesh li garzen barrosh sheli", but the last word is not necessary)
"oh my god" ("allelay") may also be writen "Oh Ellohim" ("oh god", as is often said) or "Oh Ellohim shelli" ("oh my god", a less common figure of speach)'
 
Dikla [2004 Apr 24] and Gilia [2004 May 27] seem emphatic that there are just too many words in the Hebrew. Gilia: "It is saying 'Me' twice." So we changed it some.

H3 Another minor tweak from someone outside the Indo-European crowd:
 
On the site there is the line in "Hungarian: Jaj Istenem, de fejsze van a fejemben!". Literally it means "Oh my God, but there is an axe in my head!"
de means but
Correctly:
"Jaj Istenem, egy fejsze van a fejemben!"
egy is the article we use for the english a or an (which means literally one but we use it like this)
Best regards,
Mária [2004 Apr 18]

H4 As a fellow Waterloo Engineer, I got a real kick out of reading the stuff on your site. However, since Lord of the Rings and Star Trek both have some submissions, I thought it'd be only fair to add a Star Wars one as well. I had a hard time figuring out how to translate axe, but I think it still works:
 
Tcheesa watichika bo! Ava pi killee krusp da ma green!
 
This translates to: "Alas exalted one! There is [a] kill stick in my head!"
"killee krusp" could also be substituted with the more vague "punyoo" which just means "weapon"
Cheers,
Mark Laframboise [2004 Jun 17]

I1 Antonio PS proclaims: I send la phrase in Ido. Ido is Esperanto improved. [2004 Jun 16]
Ido is Henry Jacobs' 1947 Esperanto variant, which is just as efficient as Esperanto for getting important information across.

I2 From "Majestic" [2001 Feb 27]: "Quarval-sharess is used to refer to Lloth, the goddess of Drow. Velve means sword. If there is a word for axe in the Ilythiiri tongue, then I have no knowledge of it. -Majestic"
The Drow (and their culture and language) are a popular fantasy race from the RPG "Dungeons & Dragons" by
Wizards of the Coast. Doubtless they have encountered axes, and any more complete translation would be appreciated. -ed.

I3 Presumably the native language spoken in the Danish territory of Greenland, submitted by Jette Petersen. [2001 Feb 22]
 
It's "Greenlandic" and is indeed the dialect of Inuktitut used in Greenland. Inuktitut is the language of the Inuit. In Greenlandic, it's spelled with the same alphabet as in Denmark; in Canada, it's got its own syllabic alphabet.
-Barry Goldstein
 Pequod Software [2001 Aug 21]

I4 From the email of F. W., with our most profound thanks [2001 Feb 15]:
Dear Sir/Madam,
I note that you have incorrectly translated the above into Irish (and therefore quite possibly your Celtic and Gaelic versions need to be revised).
The correct version is in fact:
"Ó mo Dhia! Tá tua i mo cheann!"
and not "Mo Dhia! Ta tua sa mo cheann!"
I have underlined the change from "sa" to "i". In Irish, "sa" and "i" are the two words used to describe the English preposition "in". "i" is used, inter alia, to denote the genitive case in respect of bodily parts, such as "in my face" (i m'aghaidh) , "in my head" (i mo cheann), etc. Hence the error in your translation.
I hope this information is of some use to you.
Kind regards,
F. W.
Dublin

I5 "The new language I have for you is Old Irish:
 
A mo de! Tathum tuag im chenn-sa.
Oh my god! There-is-to-me [an] axe in-my head.
 
There should be accent marks (long vowels) on the e in de, the a in tathum, and the u in tuag. The line would be pronounced roughly:
 
A moe they! Tothuv tuagh im xen-sa
 
The x is the German ch in Bach and the gh is the voiced version of that. I included the pronunciation only because Old Irish is often not pronounced like it is written.
I hope you can use these.
 
Aaron Griffith [2001 Sep 21]
 
Thank you, Aaron. We now set it before the tuag-weilders upon Tara, and they shall judge its merits.

I6 Courtesy Robert K [2001 Feb 17]: co dio! xe na mannera nella mia testa from an northen italian dialect used primarily around trieste in the venezia gulia region ( co' dio) is a close equivalent of oh my god ( mannerra = axe) which literally means blackhand.

K1 A well-accredited correction to our Klingoni has come from Qor'etlh of the Klingon Language Institute [stardate 2001 Feb 13]:
An old Federation approximation was:
ghay'cha'! nachwIjDaq betleH tu'lu'!
But careful studies, after decades of dedication, by teams of Linguistic Scientists have revealed that:
toH, HIvqa' Qun'a'wIj! nachwIjDaq 'obmaQ tu'lu'
Is more literally: "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head!"
This is pronounced [ TOKh, HiV-KA KROON-A-WiJ! NAch-WiJ-DAK OB-MAKR TOO-LOO]
Cultural Note: Although the gods were found to be too much trouble, and hunted down & killed by the Klingons eons ago, a few 'personal' gods must still persist.

An alternate reading also arrived from "Danny" [2001 Feb 12]– Klingon: #@!&, This is a knife located in head that is mine. Qu'vatlh! nu'oH taj'Daq nachwIj - There you go - 5anny

K2 Additions and corrections from one "Jasmine" [2001 Mar 06]:
Some more translations:
Kyrgyz (from Kyrgyzstan near China and Uzbekistan. It comes from the same family as Turkish does)
Oh Kuday! Bashimda balta bar!
Also, an alternate version of the Russian translation. The one you have on the web page was made by an American, I'm assuming. They are trying to duplicate "there is" in Russian. The form "to be" is very rarely used. A more accurate "Russian" way of saying the phrase would be: Oh God! Axe in my head! with the "to be" part being understood.
Oy Gospodi! Topor u moye golovye!
Enjoy,
Jasmine

M1 Filip [2004 Apr 22] seems to have the most accurate Macedonian, and he passed along a clean GIF. But there are at least two current dialects of Macedonian, and these have been derived from still more ancient ones. Can anyone please sort it all out?
 
"O, Gospodi! Imam sekira vo glavata,"
You have the Cyrrilic version in the image (official Macedonian alphabet).
All the best,
:-)
Filip
 
Macedonian: "O boze, imam sekira vo glavata"
Submitted by "K" [2004 Apr 24]
 
Here is the translation of this phrase in Macedonian (the language spoken in Republic of Macedonia):
Gospodi, imam sekira vo glavata!
...Many regards
Popova Ana from Skopje, Macedonia
(Native speaker of Macedonian) [2004 Apr 26]
 
"Oh my god! There's an axe in my head," in macedonian
O boze! Imam sekira vo mojata glava
Elena Stafanovska [2004 Apr 23]
 
Gospode Boze! Imam sekira vo glava!
Jehona Zuta
 
Hello!!!
Your site is fantastic!!
here is translation on "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head" into macedonian language:
Gospodi boze! Imam sekira vo glavata!
...thank you
regards
asparuh mihailov [2004 Apr 22]
 
Gospode! Imam sekira vo glavata!
Petar Mitrevski [2004 Jun 09]

M2 Nationmaster.com notes: "Malayalam is the major language of the state of Kerala, in southern India." And it's not to be cofused with Malay, or Malaysian axes.

M3 The first translation was found on the (less than etymologically reliable) "Jokes on Languages and Translations" site - www.fortunecity.com/business/moo/1132/Jokes.html [2000 Mar 20]
The second is from CHRISTOPHER at Malta.net–
"In Maltese oh my god there's an axe in my head translates literally alla tieghi hemm mannara gewwa rasi. In normal terms it would be il alla hemm mannara gewwa rasi. I would use the first one." [2001 Oct 23]
A third was submitted by Cassar Keith at MITTS; we're not sure if "axxa" is really Maltese... "IL ALLA HEMM AXXA F'RASI" [2001 Aug 24]

M4 From Johanna with xx [2004 May 24]

M5there's no 'v' in maori - it should be 'aue'
Jo Dunning [2004 Jun 16]

N1 Tord Førland sez: "Please enjoy - spelling has been verified by a Prof. in norwegian language!" [2001 Mar 20]

N2 Corrections have poured in this winter over original submission: "Herre Gud! Jeg har en aks i hodet!":
Jørgen Vinne Iversen [14 Feb 2001]; Jon Reino Heum [14 Feb 2001]; Espen Aase Johnsen [9 Mar 2001]; Sigve Indregard [9 Mar 2001]; Simen Pedersen [9 Mar 2001]; Tord Førland and others have come forward to correct the misspelling of "øks" as "aks". So many in fact, we have to wonder if they aren't incarnations of the same avid axe-head fan. In any case, we sincerely hope help was not delayed to anyone by this unfortunate error. And thanks to everyone for the heads up!

[04 Jul 2001] Apparently we are still experiencing some argument over just how to convince your Norwegian friends a great hatchet of war is sticking out of your cranium. This is not the language group to let down about such an issue. Here's some of the mail we've gotten through the Spring of 2001:

The last translation posted was "Hærregud, eg he ein øks i hovudet!"

[2001 Apr 29] Hi, I am a 16 year old boy from Norway (who cares..)
Your translation of oh my god! There's an axe in my head from english to norwegian is a little bit odd.
 
The way you have it is as it would have been in earlier norwegian (nynorsk)
 
In earlier norwegian it should have been:
 
"Herregud! Eg har ein øks i hovudet"
or
"Å Gud! Eg har ein øks i hovudet"
 
But most norwegians or write in a newer version of Norwegian (bokmål) And in that case the translation would have been:
 
"Herregud! Jeg har en øks i hodet"
or
"Å Gud! Jeg har en øks i hodet"
 
The last two ways of writing it is the most used ones, but the first two is also correct. I suggest you change the translation you already have with one of the ones I have listed.
 
Greetings from
Tony Hansse

[2001 May 16] The Norwegian version "Hærregud, eg he ein øks i hovudet!" is not really correct. If one is using Bokmål (the majority dialect) "Herre Gud, jeg har fått en øks i hodet" would be correct. In Nynorsk (the minority dialect) this would be "Herre Gud, eg har fått ei øks i hovudet mitt" would be the way to express it.
 
The viking sagas tell a us lot about axe fighting and a line that is most suitable for your page is:
 
"Han treiv ei øks i hovudet på han så skallen kløvdes heilt ned til skuldrane. Det blei hans bane!"
 
- From Eigil Skallagrimssons kongssagaer. In english this would read "An axe was thrust into his head so his skull was split in two right down to his shoulders. This killed him". The last part of the sentnce may seem unnecessary information for us today but the vikings were a tough fighting race and a mere head wound caused by an axe was commonplace.
 
Andrew Walls
Near the Arctic Circle
Norway

[2001 Jun 01] Just a little pedantic note: there are actually two Norwegian written languages. Directly translated, one is commonly referred to as 'book tongue' and the other 'new Norwegian'. Both are taught in school. The 'book tongue' version of Norwegian language is basically Danish with a twist, whilst 'new Norwegian' is a nationalistic attempt at combining the various attributes of different Norwegian dialects into one whole. Being an attempt at incorporating all dialects, and seeing as there are so many (and consequently conflicting) ones, 'new Norwegian' is quite flexible. As long as one spells words consistently, one may somewhat adjust the spelling according to one's own dialect. Thus, 'aks' may in some instances be an alternative spelling of 'øks', but this is probably limited to isolated backwater burghs no one has ever heard of.
 
Here are correct Norwegian translations of "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head":

Norwegian 'Book tongue': "Herregud! Jeg har en øks i hodet."
'New Norwegian': "Herregud! Eg har ein øks i hovudet."
The version on your site ("Hærregud, eg he ein øks i hovudet!"), I'm sorry to say, is completely off the mark. Firstly, 'hærregud' is a misspelling of 'herregud' in any version of written Norwegian. (It's akin to writing 'oh my gad' instead of 'oh my god'.) Secondly, 'he' is used in some spoken dialects, but is not an acceptable official spelling of 'har'. Although 'new Norwegian' is flexible, there are still certain rules to abide. So, the suggested 'new Norwegian' of "Hærregud, eg he ein øks i hovudet!" is plain wrong. This is not merely my opinion. It is so. Please do not just mention this in the footnote, but correct the main text. .
 
Regards,
Christopher Slind Nicholso

[2001 Jun 26] nso@slash-ignore writes:
really cool list..
on note thou..
the norwegian translation is really really REALLY wrong..
the norwegian translation should read; "Herregud! Jeg har en øks i hodet!"
 
acctually.. you might want to keep the one that's allready there.. it ain't norwegian.. it's new-norwegian.. a own written and spoken language..

[2001 Jun 29] Good day to you.
 
I'm a Norwegian, and I see to my disgust that your Norwegian translation is wrong. The one you have no your page, is 'written the way people talk', and in a dialect. It is not correct Norwegian.
 
The wrong sentence:
Hærregud, - Written the way people talk. There is no such word as Hærre, and the words Herre Gud should be in two words!
eg he ein - north Norwegian dialect!
øks i - correct
hovudet! - Dialect agai
 
The correct sentence (and I got the best grades at school!) is:
Herre Gud, jeg har en øks i hodet!
 
Sincerely
Harald Sandbakke
Norway

[Ed.: We've now posted a couple of each from Bokmål and Nynorsk. If a fresh round of dispute arises, this can only be solved in one way. Everyone in Norway will have to get out their axes, approach those with opposing dialects, and... you get the idea. Ah, for the good old days.]

Q1 The Quest of Axe has begun in Middle-Earth... the Tolkien scholars are sharpening their baruk in preparation to mince Peter Jackson's interpretation of Middle-Earth to a nicety. Or, if the need arises, to leave an axe in his head.
Our thanks to scribe
Aaron Griffith for his weapons-take on the subject
"The Quenya translation could be better, I think:
 
A Iluvatarinya! En na pelecco carinyesse.
Literally: O Earth-father-mine. There is [an] ax head-mine-in.
 
There should be accent marks (indicating long vowels) over the u in Iluvatar, the a in na, and the a in carinyesse. Iluvatar is more commonly the name the elves use when addressing God. Also, the elves can say 'in my head' all in one word and probably would, rather than as mi nya car, which is printed currently." [2001 Sep 21]
 
But our original entry for Quenya was just as thoughtful:
"Hello. My name is Ian. I was looking for something cool to do, when all of a sudden, I found your page. It's awesome. My new hobby is to memorize a new way of saying it every day, and say it to someone.
 
"I was slightly dissapointed however, when I found a Klingon way of saying it, and not an Elvish one. JRR Tolkien wrote the Lord of the Rings series, and there is a movie coming out in mid-December of one of the books. So, I think that you should put in the Elvish language because it is well developed and spoken by many fanatics across the country. I took the liberty of looking up how to say the phrase, in hopes that you would put it on your page. Please think it over. Thank you.

O Erunya! En ná i pelecco mi nya cár.
Oh my God! There is an axe in my head.
"Sorry about not making a contraction of "there is", but I could not find a way in Elf. If you need verrification that this is a legitimate language please go to the following page. They have a word bank.
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Parthenon/2196/
"Thanks again. Ian Hardie" [2001 May 21]

Thanks, Ian, though Ilythiiri is arguably an elvish language we've already posted. Also, we are well aware of Prof. Tolkien's contributions, and have been seeking translations in his languages for some time. In fact, he devised more than one elven language, and developed many variants. Your translation appears to be in Quenya...
 
We invite all Ardan scholars out there to keep commenting.

R1 Submitted by: S.A.\"Vinuri-Ialoveni\" [2001 Mar 23]
Also this from Wed, Eduard Tone [2001 Mar 21]
Hi guys! I'm Eddie from Romania, and let me tell you how to say it:
"Oh, Doamne! Am un topor infipt in cap!"
OK? Nice and practical site you have! See ya!
Eddie

R2 Our original "Bozhe moi! Eto topor v moyei golove!" just isn't good enough for native Russian speakers. So we've posted two alternatives that have arrived; one from Jasmine (see note 22) and another from Anthony J. Vanchu [2001 Mar 09], apparently at NASA... Clearly they're prepared for the imminent impact of an ancient weapon with the International Space Station sometime this year
Dear Site Curator:
Great site!!
One note, however: the Russian-language version of the phrase "Oh my God, there's an axe in my head" on your website, while a workable literal translation, is not the way a Russian would actually say this. May I suggest instead: "Bozhe moy, u meenya tapor v golove!" (The consensus of the several native-speakers of Russian with whom I work).
Tony Vanchu

S1 More axe crises above the Arctic Circle, from Geir Anders Berg [2001 Mar 13]:
I have one for you in sámi language: "Vuoi Ipmilahcci! Mus han leat aksu oaivvis"
The Sámi are the indigenous people inhabiting Northern Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia's Kola eninsula.
Have a nice day :)
Geir Anders Berg
davvIT as

S2 Discovered at www.vt.edu. [2000 May 10]

S3 Thanks to Dr. Sunil Koswatta [2001 Mar 05]; although we sincerely hope visitors to Ceylon will never need it:
Sinhala is spoken by about 75% of the population in Sri Lanka.
M. Sunil R. Koswatta, Ph.D.
Faculty Coordinator
Department of Instructional Technology
Harper College
Palatine, IL 60067.

S4 A gender pause from Kathy0284:
 
I was just reading through your translations and I came upon the Spanish translation and it says "una hacha". This is incorrect; it should be "un hacha". ALthough it looks that it should be "una" it takes the masculine form because of hte stressed "h" sound to the word. I only know this because we recently went over this in my Spanish class ( this is my 7th year of it) at school. Thankyou. [2001 May 13]

S5 "In Surinamese, the language spoken in Suriname on the north coast of South America, a former colony of Holland, it would be:
 
Tjé mi gado! Mi ab' wang aksi na ini mi édé!
 
In Suriname a machete would be more realistic though,
Krook
Delft, Holland"

S6 How emphatically are you injured by that Swedish axe? Do you even care? This submission from Kari Kakkinen [2001 Mar 09] answers all your questions:
(Original submissions: "Ah, Herregud! Jag har en yxa i huvudet!")
I don't know who gave you the swedish version but to me it's not the the rigth way of saying it, the first part that is.
When you in swedish use the....Ah ........it can be in a situation where you are disappointed with yourself ....Ah, jag missade ( I missed)....or.....it can be in a situation when you are admireing something.....Aaaah, den är vacker (it's beautiful) notice the longer Ah, wich in that situation means that you probably really think the "object" is really beautiful.
So......how is the correct way then ? Like the english way.......Oh
K Kakkinen....Oernskoeldsvik....Swede

T1 Thanks to cbooth@es.com for contributing this, with the following commentary:
"Note that the last vowels in Tanrim and saplanmis are undotted i's; they represent a high back unround vowel. It seems to me that a site claiming to have translations in many languages should avail itself of a way to represent symbols and diacritics that aren't part of standard written American English."
The editors wish to note that this page was posted to meet an emergency– no other page on the web provides this service with updates. All the same, we would certainly post gifs or jpegs of these important translations in their original, non-English character sets if contributors
send them i. [2000 May 10]

U1 Courtesy Mohammed Farooq [2001 Mar 05]

V1 Thanks to Arden Smith for supplying the Volapük translation! [2001 Mar 15]

W1 Don't be misunderstood in Belgium. Thanks to Jean-Michel Reghem [2001 Mar 07]:
Here is the version of this sentence in Wallon (Walloon: french dialect spoken by old people in french speaking part of belgium... Maybe it is the same for some dialect in the north of France) It's in phonetic, because it is not a language than you can write.
"Nom dé dju, y a èn hache din m' tièt" (In French: Mon dieu, Il y a une hache dans ma tête)
Jean-Michel Reghem (Mons - Belgium)

Y1 Translation and text jpeg supplied by the mighty Barry Goldstein, while us goyim were merely lazing around Christmas week. [2001 Dec 27]
 
Another submission in Yiddish we recieved from JeffreyW100, but, a little unsure he was:
 
[2001 Jun 06] "It would be a good idea to add Yiddish as a language. I don't know it exactly, but I think it might be like: Oy Vey, doort is an (axe)in mine kop!
 
"Actually, it might be: Oy mayn got, doort is an (ax) in mayn kop!!"

Z1 [2001 Jul 05] Our second entry from Tolkien's Arda is the bad guy's language, submitted as "Orcish" by someone going by the Lovecraftian moniker of LudvigPrin:
 
[2001 Jun 29] Afar vadokanuk, At sapat kok-ishi!
"By all the dead, there's an axe in my head!"
>From Tolkein's Black Speech
 
Ed.: This is from a site featuring "Colloquial Black Speech for Orcs, Trolls and Men", and may be more fan-derived than Tolkienian, but that remains to be seen.
 
According to Tolkien canon, the Orcs had many guttural tribal languages but used a degraded form of Zau Ta-folin to communicate between tribes. The rhyming translation seems amusing, especially since the speaker would likely be joining the ranks of said dead. This might be a suitable translation for tribes outside the control or knowledge of Sauron (say during one of his long absences) since their objects of veneration were likely dead and/or evil.
 
But orcs working for Sauron have a god. In the opinion of Aetherco, anyone using Zau Ta-folin would not call upon God himself as an epithet, even in vain. It seems very likely no word for Eru (God) would have been made, since Sauron and his exiled master Morgoth were the only deities worth worshipping, in Sauron's opinion, at the time Sauron devised the language.
 
Also since the canon states specifically that Sauron forbade his servants to spell or speak his name, some symbol of the Dark Lord would have to substitute. Such was the terror Sauron kept his servants in, that even referring aloud to his Eye was avoided, and so we have chosen the ultimate scary reference to Sauron, used by orcs Shagrat and Gorbag in The Two Towers:
Lugbúrz, the Zau Ta-folin word for Barad-dûr, the Dark Tower.
 
Hence, the first translation would literally read,
"By the Dark Tower! there's an axe in my head."

Z2 Found at damocles.com (!) and wap.org. [2000 May 10]


An early hint of Yohaun's axes on Usenet: 1994 Jul 20
An early posting of Yohaun's list on Usenet [12 entries]: 1994 Jul 24
First findable correction by a third party [Latin]: 1994 Sep 05
Originally received by Aetherco: 1997 May 12

"Did you ever have a hatchet go right through your face?" –George Carlin